


Emperor without money

by Legend25



Category: Frieza Yamcha
Genre: Frieza Yamcha - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25992694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legend25/pseuds/Legend25
Summary: Disclaimer: I do not own DB, DBZ, DBS or any of the characters.Summary: Alternate Reality
Relationships: Frieza/Yamcha (Dragon Ball)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Emperor without money

Swirling and twirling his enormous tail. He really loved the fact how it suited him, made him even more intimidating and yet… the tail was so much more useful and practical for many other things. He couldn’t imagine of not having one or how others don’t have it. Maybe some can even contemplate how it can become a liability, but if it is used in a simple… profound manner… oh, the tail is then more than enough to make your life miserable and difficult. Why? The reason is a very easy to guess. One more hand… that is what many would like to have… and this is what his tail was… the third hand for him. He can encase, squeeze, capture, seize… all the wonderful stuff to do. But something was amiss. Overwhelmingly. It is the same feeling when he goes to sleep or when he eats… when he needs to clean or purify himself and his tail… it doesn’t make coils and spins as usual. Like having another ego in his body. And the tail was telling him something. It is time… Time for what? He sensed and smelled. Mating. The pressure is high. So, it has already come and he must satisfy his bodily needs and fill his heart. But, this was different… he needed even to let out one of his seeds… he had the urge and drive to conceive. The issue is… he is picky. Extremely. What to do? How to find a perfect mate and out of nowhere? He needs to talk with Berryblue.  
\- You called for me, my Lord?  
\- Yes, I have a question to ask.  
\- What is it? Tell me – she is really curious.  
\- Mate… How to find one in this tremendous vast galactic space and time?  
\- Prophet.  
\- What!?  
\- Prophet.  
\- What prophet?  
\- Prophet.  
Frieza blinked… Hard, then stopped.  
\- Since when do I find a hard time to understand you, or maybe it is the other way around?  
\- Maybe I learned another language, who knows… My Lord.  
\- Stop being so vain and sly!  
\- It only looks like that, essentially, I am shy.  
\- Goddammit! I ask you to explain!  
Berryblue sighed. Frieza, her master, is endowed with the enormous intellect and smartness but for some facts… he is stupid as fuck.  
\- My Lord, go to see a prophet. I heard there is, in this system, a fortuneteller Baba.  
\- Really? And, what to do with her?  
\- If you want to eat her after she tells you what you want, I don’t mind, but not before she foretells you what you need to know.  
\- My perfect mate? The most suitable?  
\- Yes.  
\- Hm, I wonder…  
\- What?  
\- Is she tasty? I mean… what if my destined mate is something I can actually eat?  
\- Even better.  
\- Really?  
\- Then the lust and craving is on the higher level.  
\- I have never thought about that.  
\- Neither I.  
\- Then, how the hell you can tell, what is what, when even you don’t know how and when?!  
She waved her head.  
\- I simply hope it would be someone who comprehends your way of seeing things. It seems… I am lacking.  
Frieza was now more confused than he ever imagined to be.  
\- I will set the course.  
Coming to the planet was no problem and he was eager to find out who is his lucky charm. Arriving at the door, they didn’t know what to expect. To knock or to blast? They didn’t need to wait to find out. A gorgeous young man opened the door.  
\- Baba told me you are coming. Please, come in.  
Frieza raised his eyebrows while Berryblue was shocked by the amount of beauty that exuded from this young man. Upon entering the place, he disappeared and the only thing Frieza could do is following the ki and his presence. Berryblue knew all too well her master. He already set his sights on that one. Never to let go… even if someone says or threatens him otherwise.  
\- 3.000.000 in advance.  
\- What!?  
\- And then 300.000.000 after it.  
They spread their irises like they are bulbs.  
\- I have no time, another customer is waiting. What I say, it is determined by stars and fate. Can’t be changed. I am ALWAYS RIGHT!  
Something told Frieza, while he suspiciously looked at her, that she is telling the truth. No matter what… he somehow hoped, it would be that youngster.  
\- Berryblue, pay her.  
\- Credit card or in cash?  
\- In cash, of course!  
\- Sorry, no cash.  
\- What?! – he turned to his most loyal servant. – What do you mean by that?! Explain it!  
\- I didn’t think it would cost so much. I mean… maybe I should have just brought the whole army to carry tons and tons of credits.  
Frieza facepalmed himself.  
\- You ruined my reputation!  
\- Of what?  
\- Of being rich!  
\- You are rich.  
\- But so rich that I am richer that the richest of the rich!  
\- And so?  
\- It means, when I say… PAY, you need to spit it out!  
\- Sorry, my Lord. Next time, I will just, like the mules, put everything I can in my butt and the other half in my breasts… That settles.  
Frieza was getting very impatient and infuriated.  
\- Is there a problem?  
\- No, woman. Just misunderstandings in translation.  
\- So, where is the money?  
\- You know what… I have no intention of paying you for something so trivial!  
\- So, no money!?  
\- No, I have one!  
\- Credit card or check is enough.  
He turned to his right hand.  
\- You mentioned credit card.  
\- Yes, I am.  
\- Where is it?  
\- I lost it.  
\- WHAT!?  
\- I only brought the checks.  
\- But?  
\- They are of the wrong color. I need blue for paying.  
\- OH, FOR GOD’S SAKES!  
\- You are the Emperor of the Universe, have it all, but a broke one. I don’t need a ball for it.  
\- NOOO! If it weren’t for this stupidity, I would already have my soulmate in my arms and around my tail!  
Baba sighed, while Berryblue decided to brush her hair.  
\- Don’t bother, just give me that man over there.  
\- You mean, Yamcha!?  
\- Yes.  
With just that one word, all the comedic situation is dropped down. The witch didn’t know what to make of it.  
\- But he is a man.  
\- So?  
Baba wanted to safe Yamcha from this evil thing.  
\- Trust me… You are warned.  
\- Hey, Baba, this cake is delicious! – Yamcha barged in.  
\- You, idiot!  
\- Why?  
\- Why did you come?! I am trying to save you!  
\- Why?  
\- Don’t you see this lizard?  
\- Yes.  
\- Then, aren’t you afraid!?  
\- Of what?  
\- Of him?!  
\- Why?  
Now it was a turn for the fortuneteller to facepalm herself while Berryblue laughed so hard.  
\- It seems… he is perfect, My Lord.  
\- Yes, it seems – he said with a nuzzled voice, ready to cuddle.  
Yamcha moved forward, stopped in front of Frieza’s airchair.  
\- You are very beautiful.  
\- Thank you – Frieza was confounded, he blushed.  
\- May I come with you? I have done my part of the job for the Lady and now… I am free.  
\- To be mine? – he said expectantly, the first time someone wants to do something of free volition.  
\- Yes! – Yamcha smiled warmly.  
Just like that, Frieza had his mate. Baba didn’t get her fortune and Berryblue was still the most reliable advisor and servant. 

Now they have sex. You know how it goes.


End file.
